Death of a Friend: Don Cowling, 1934-2018

Don at Middleton Sportsmen Club, 2004

Don Cowling at Middleton Sportsmen Club, Wisconsin, 2004

Donald G. Cowling, Jr., was born on 25 April, 1934, on a small farm in the Town of Vinland near Oshkosh, Wisconsin. He was the only child of Donald G. Cowling, Sr. and Doris Small Cowling.  I was told the farm was small, 40 acres, with railroad tracks running through it. Donald Senior worked for the Railroad for 37 years.

Don grew up on the farm and took to shooting early. His father was not a hunter or a shooter, but Don's uncle was. He vividly remembered being worried about having BB's during World War II, and purchased a significant supply to last the duration. He was only eleven when the war ended.

Don took to carrying a gun early, pre-teen.  He started with a .32 rimfire revolver, which he soon traded for a beat up .22 that required hand indexing.  By age 16 he had purchased a new H&R 922.  He was seldom without a handgun from the age of 12. Don never sold his personal guns. When he died, his collection was worth about a hundred thousand dollars.

Don told me he was tied near the top of his high school class of 142 students, academically and athletically, with another young man. The records showed the tie was in science, the Debate Team, and track.  Don was fourth in his class.

He graduated from Neenah High School in 1951. He came to the University of Wisconsin, Madison, in 1952.  He was one of the top shooters at the University of Wisconsin Pistol Team in 1953. Tragedy stuck Don when his mother became very ill, and died in August of 1954.  Don went home to help take care of his mother.  In 1955 he went back to the University. He was a member of the ROTC University of Wisconsin championship pistol team that year.

Don at High School Graduation, 1951, age 17

Don at High School Graduation, 1951, age 17

He worked his way through school;  Don started working for the University of Wisconsin in 1955, and for the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources, as a temporary, limited term employee, in 1957. He became a life member of the National Rifle Association (NRA) the same year. Don received his Bachelor's of Science degree in 1958. I have written about the world record rat hunt that happened just north of Madison in 1957. Don was that hunter. Don demanded privacy. I kept that promise. Don knew I would reveal his identity after he died.

I met Don at the University of Wisconsin in 1970. He was already a lifetime NRA Pistol Master, an achievement he had attained three years earlier.  Don was the number one  shooter of the Badger Pistol League. I was #19 out of 51. In 1970, Don achieved his Second Degree Black Belt in American Self Protection, a martial art developed for American unarmed defense. For many years he taught martial arts and self defense.

Don in glasses on left, teaching martial arts, 1970

Don in glasses on left, teaching martial arts, 1970

Don was my friend and mentor for 48 years. We grew closer in the last couple of decades. During that period, I talked to Don nearly every day. I can thank new technology and the demise of the Bell monopoly for the ability to be able to talk every day from 2,400 miles apart.  I could not have afforded that luxury under the Bell monopoly.

Don was frugal. He kept track of every penny for decades. He stopped smoking cigarettes in 1963. He stopped working for the University of Wisconsin in 1967, at age 33. He had put in enough years there to qualify for a small Wisconsin Teachers pension, when he reached 65. It was a tiny part of his income.  Don avoided debt almost entirely. He purchased his first car for cash. The only debt I know of was a small note he took out on a house he purchased in 1965, with a double lot, for $11,400.

Don had the resources to live as he liked. He chose to live modestly. 

He did considerable fix-up on the house. He rented the place out. He was still the landlord when he died, 53 years later. On the second lot, Don built a garage with an office/shop underneath. He called it the "Bunker", and built it almost entirely by himself, by hand. It was designed to be secure and to operate as a fall out shelter. Built on a slope overlooking lake Mendota, it is in a beautiful and modest neighborhood. The slope conceals the door of the Bunker from the street. The lots were inexpensive in 1965. Today they are prime real estate.

Don spent a lot of time at the Bunker. It is uncertain how many nights he spent on the foldout bed there. Decades, I suppose. Don spent much time living with long-time significant other, Eva Mallot. They were a couple for nearly 14 years. There were 2-3 years where they broke up and came back together.  The Bunker had a bathroom, but no kitchen. Don generally ate out, with friends.

I lived in the Bunker for a couple of months after Don died. I found it comfortable, cosy, secure, and private. Don's journals revealed more details than Don had shared with me over the decades.

I assumed Don was a lady's man. He was intelligent, capable, sociable, and talented.  He had great empathy. He was both a superb listener and conversationalist. While he was well off, he did not flaunt his prosperity. When I told him I thought of him a lady's man, about 1983, he smiled ruefully and shook his head. I learned I had been correct. He was active until he was 60, a decade later.  His non-verbal answer was his way to keep things compartmentalized, to keep his private life private. He was discreet, and did not kiss and tell.

After he stopped working for the University in 1967, he had plenty of time to do whatever he wanted. He was a modest card and pool shark. Money from these activities supplemented his official earnings.  The returns from cards and pool might have been ten percent of his "normal" income. He saved prodigiously and invested wisely. By 1967, at age 33, he was financially independent.

Don's work for the Department of Natural Resources (DNR) was undercover. He worked for, and was loyal to, the head of special investigations in the DNR.  He spent over 30 years as a limited term employee of the DNR. This meant he never had retirement benefits from the DNR. He took the assignments he wanted to take. He did it because he was exceptionally good at it, and because it gave him the legal status, as a law enforcement officer, to conceal carry everywhere. For most of his life, Wisconsin had no official concealed carry permit. Don was seldom separated from one of his model 36 Smith & Wesson .38 revolvers. He purchased his main carry model 36 in 1962 for $54.10. A Berns-Martin holster cost $17.

Don drew the potent little S&W at least once in a confrontation, but did not have to fire it. Don spent quite a bit of time in rough bars, but he avoided fights. With his intelligence, verbal skills, and ability to read people and situations, he did not need to use his martial arts in bar room brawls.

Don planned long term and was meticulous about details. He maintained a Federal Firearms License for decades. He was a licensed private investigator in Wisconsin. He maintained a blasters license.

A good deal of Don's life was centered around the Middleton Sportsmen Club. He was one of the people who made the organization work. As treasurer, he kept the organization in the black. He donated thousands of hours to keeping the club up and operating.  He was granted a lifetime honorary membership to show the club's appreciation. I was a member while attending graduate school at Madison. Don dominated pistol competitions at the club. He often shot left handed, to handicap himself. One member told me he won a competition, left handed, in his eighties, with a score of 294 out of 300.

Don organized and fought against the creeping erosion of Second Amendment rights in Madison. It was a losing local battle, but we eventually won that war at the State Capitol, decades later.

Don demonstrated to me that frugality and saving were the way to financial independence. When he died, Don's estate was worth a hair less than ten million. While Don lived frugally, he enjoyed the security of his investments.

He lived on his terms. He lived well, and privately. Many of his friends knew only parts of his life. Champion shooter, martial artist, undercover agent, investor, instructor, lover, hunter, friend.  Don had many friends, and a busy social schedule.

For the last 20 years of Don's life, he exercised regularly and rigorously. His goal was to walk a distance equivalent to the circumference of the Earth.  He seldom missed his daily walk of five miles. He wore ice cleats when ice and snow were a problem. When he died, he was only a few hundred miles short of that goal.

He left no heirs. His estate was donated to Alzheimer's research.  He hated and feared the disease, but it was cancer that brought him low. He battled the disease for 14 years. Most of the time, he was in remission. He was mentally lucid and sharp until the end. I wrote about his last moments shortly after he died.

Don wasn't a Christian. He was the rare non-believer in rural Wisconsin. His immediate family were not religious or members of a church.

Don was one of the few people I would have trusted with my life, without question.


©2019 by Dean Weingarten: Permission to share is granted when this notice and link are included.

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