Guns have two main purposes: self-defense and entertainment such as
hunting and shooting competitions. You don’t typically see a lot of
overlap between the worlds of self-defense and hunting. You’d probably
get arrested if you tried to carry your shotgun or hunting rifle around
town so that you could use it for self-protection, and bringing your
compact pistol out into the woods for a day of hunting is a little bit
silly.
In rare cases, however, the worlds of hunting and
self-defense clash with bruising force. Such was the case in Fertile,
Minnesota, where 66-year-old Mark Christianson had a close encounter
with a wild buck.
Warning Signs
It all started two days before the incident, Grand Forks Herald reports.
Christianson was near his shed when he spotted a male deer.
Christianson recalled, “He was 8 feet away, and instead of being scared
he came right up to me. I went inside, and he stuck his nose right up
against the window. Then he banged his antlers against the wall.”
Christianson
tried to retreat back his house but the deer followed. Christian dove
into a 1992 Bonneville that he kept in his yard and waited for the deer
to wander off.
That was odd encounter, certainly, but it
wasn't something that was worth worrying over. Deer are a fairly common
sight on Christianson’s property, so he and his wife brushed it off as
nothing. “We sometimes have 17 or 18 deer in the yard here,”
Christianson’s 65-year-old wife, Judy, said, “but we have a hard time
getting a picture. You open the door a little and — phfft — they’re
gone. They’re usually so sensitive."
But that wasn't the last they would see of this pugnacious deer. The
next day, Judy went out to hang clothes and saw the buck feasting on
their crabapple tree.
The third day was when the antlers hit the fan, so to speak.
The Eternal Struggle of Man vs. Nature
Christianson
went out to spray his soybeans when he had another encounter with the
deer -- thiis time, the deer meant business. The deer charged at
Christianson and struck him with its hooves.
Christianson
described the battle, “He was pummeling me, standing on his hind legs
and hitting me with the front ones. He hammered me good, rapid fire,
and I thought, ‘Well, this isn’t good.’ I wasn’t winning, so I grabbed
him and tackled him and we both went down on the ground.”
Man,
what a guy. A lot of people in that situation would probably think, “I
gotta get outta here!” Christianson is made of tougher stuff than that
– his first reaction was to wrestle with it.
Mark Christianson
the Deer Wrestler managed to disentangle himself and make a break for
the house. “He got me! He got me!” he yelled to his wife.
Judy was understandably terrified and confused: “Mark was dripping
blood all over, and his ear looked like it had been tore off. He was
shaking and trying to load bullets into his gun. I didn’t know what to
think.”
Christianson came back for round two, but this time he
was fully armed. “I gut-shot him where he was, then saw he went down at
the edge of the hill over there,” he said, indicating a copse of nearby
of oak trees. “I got him a couple more times there.”
A Mad Deer?
Christianson
claimed that the deer sounded sick, so the Minnesota Department of
Natural Resources and the Norman County Sheriff’s Office shipped the
deer’s corpse off to the University of Minnesota Veterinary Diagnostic
Laboratory to give it an autopsy. They ruled out rabies and Lyme
disease, but they did find a few parasites in its liver.
Blane
Klemek, the wildlife supervisor, said, “but it’s unclear whether that
would explain the animals unusual behavior. It’s an odd one. Deer are
normally afraid of people.”
You know, it’s possible that this deer wasn’t sick at all. Maybe it was a Jeffrey Dahmer
of the deer world and just wanted to beat the crap out of some humans.
Well, it definitely shouldn’t have picked a fight with Mark
Christianson, gun owner and undefeated deer wrestling champion.
The deer has learned its lesson out of the ordeal (a little bit too
late for it to matter), and so has Christianson. When asked how he
would handle another aggressive animal on his property, Christianson
responded, “I wouldn’t wait three days to get my rifle.”
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